The Comprehensive Blog of Things That are Shit! #22 – Self Important Wankers:

 

Some time ago I embarked upon the rather ambitious task of compiling a comprehensive list of things that are shit. It featured prominently on my Facebook page, along with a whole lot of other crap on my facebook page that still features prominently, unfortunately there were too many shit things on the list that it had to be removed due to the oppressive and ridiculous constraints forced upon it by the fools at Facebook. For those out there who were not enlightened as to the content of that list, and harbour some delusional interest in this project here it is in its previous incarnation:

1. Every article published in The West Australian’s 171-year history.

2. Emo’s – tip from a winner you’re meant to stop crying yourself to sleep when you’re three.

3. Birds – particularly magpies and peacocks.

4. Poor mobile phone reception.

5. West Coast Eagles players past, present (and future).

6. Beer bottle caps that require bottle openers. The unnecessary inconvenience of good beer.

7. Bruce McAvaney who does everything within his limited ability as a human to make football irritating to watch

8. Cricket without Warney. Cricket in general. Cricketers. People who follow cricket, and worse of all people who want to talk to me about cricket.

9. Bob Geldof and his one famous song.

10. Cyclists and the laws that protect them from being run over.

11. The fact that no matter where you go there’s always bloody road works happening.

12. The fact that no matter where you go the roads are polluted by people with over sized four wheel drives.  Seriously you only need one in the city if you’re taking the thing off road in an attempt to run over cyclists (see #10).

13. The Twilight phenomenon, although in fairness I can’t say I have actually read any of them, but the air of trashy faux literature that it reeks of is more than enough to justify its inclusion on this list.

14. Bands that think they’re too good for guitars.

15. Clumsy fuckers lacking adequate co-ordination who stumble into you and make you spill your beer and then think an apology is adequate compensation. Buy me another beer, or at least a bundy and coke buddy.

16. Phil Collins and any musical project he’s ever been involved in (with the exception of those precious three minutes thirty of sonic bliss in Sussudio).

17. All members of the most comprehensive exercise in incest of all time – The British Royal Family and the people who are interested in there entirely over rated existence.

18. John Howard and his collective of hatred.

19. Commercial radio DJ’s, and the same ten songs they play, and the same ten jokes they use, and the lame smug bile they insist on spitting out polluting our airwaves.

20. Police generally, who think their job is to protect and punish rather than to protect and serve largely disposing of any regard to common sense and decency.

21.  Anything fluro other than highlighters.

 

Now you may think such a list is a self-indulgent exercise in monotony. And it mostly is. However, the reality is that this blog (what the hell is a blog anyway?) is not intended to foster hatred and prejudice by paying limited attention to the laws of defamation/good taste and going on endless tirades. In fact I like most things (well at the very least I am particularly fond of large amounts of beer, music, and the slightly concealed smile of a gorgeous girl). The intention of this list is that it is an outlet composing of observations about the things in life – significant, mundane or otherwise, that are shit. And if any of this offends you? Well at the expense of sounding repetitive, self-important serious wankers are the latest addition to the comprehensive list of things that are shit!

 

Peace. MDG.

The Comprehensive Blog of Things That are Shit! #21 – Self Important Wankers:

Some time ago I embarked upon the rather ambitious task of compiling a comprehensive list of things that are shit. It featured prominently on my Facebook page, along with a whole lot of other crap on my facebook page that still features prominently, unfortunately there were too many shit things on the list that it had to be removed due to the oppressive and ridiculous constraints forced upon it by the fools at Facebook. For those out there who were not enlightened as to the content of that list, and harbour some delusional interest in this project here it is in its previous incarnation:

1. Every article published in The West Australian’s 171-year history.
2. Emo’s – tip from a winner you’re meant to stop crying yourself to sleep when you’re three.
3. Birds – particularly magpies and peacocks.
4. Poor mobile phone reception.
5. West Coast Eagles players past, present (and future).
6. Beer bottle caps that require bottle openers. The unnecessary inconvenience of good beer.
7. Bruce McAvaney who does everything within his limited ability as a human to make football irritating to watch
8. Cricket without Warney. Cricket in general. Cricketers. People who follow cricket, and worse of all people who want to talk to me about cricket.
9. Bob Geldof and his one famous song.
10. Cyclists and the laws that protect them from being run over.
11. The fact that no matter where you go there’s always bloody road works happening.
12. Anything fluro that’s not a highlighter.
13. The Twilight phenomenon, although in fairness I can’t say I have actually read any of them, but the air of trashy faux literature that it reeks of is more than enough to justify its inclusion on this list.
14. Bands that think they’re too good for guitars.
15. Clumsy fuckers lacking adequate co-ordination who stumble into you and make you spill your beer and then think an apology is adequate compensation. Buy me another beer, or at least a bundy and coke you mug.
16. Phil Collins and any musical project he’s ever been involved in (with the exception of those precious three minutes thirty of sonic bliss in Sussudio).
17. All members of the most comprehensive exercise in incest of all time – The British Royal Family and the people who are interested in there entirely over rated existence.
18. John Howard and his collective of hatred.
19. Commercial radio DJ’s, and the same ten songs they play, and the same ten jokes they use, and the lame smug bile they insist on spitting out polluting our airwaves.
20. Police generally, who think their job is to protect and punish rather than to protect and serve largely disposing of any regard to common sense and decency.

Now you may think such a list is a self-indulgent exercise in monotony. And it mostly is. However, the reality is that this blog (what the hell is a blog anyway?) is not intended to foster hatred and prejudice by paying limited attention to the laws of defamation/good taste and going on endless tirades. In fact I like most things (well at the very least I am particularly fond of large amounts of beer, music, and the slightly concealed smile of a gorgeous girl). The intention of this list is that it is an outlet composing of observations about the things in life – significant, mundane or otherwise, that are shit. And if any of this offends you? Well at the expense of sounding repetitive, self-important serious wankers are the latest addition to the comprehensive list of things that are shit!

Peace. MDG.

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